Grandson Gets Onced-Over By A Trained Ear
Officer Jones: Okay, Jimmy, one more time. Tell me exactly what happened.
Grandson Jim: Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Officer: Uh huh, that’s what I thought I heard you say. And when, pray tell, do you insist this happened?
Grandson: Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
Officer: Right. But, Jim. Buddy. Can’t believe I’m the one telling your thirty-year old self this, but since this is a precinct that deals in facts, I must reaffirm: there’s no such thing as Santa.
Grandson: But as for me and grandpa? We believe.
Officer: Of course you do. Okay, fine. So let’s go down this path. Why didn’t your grandma see Prancer swooping in to murder her?
Grandson: She’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog.
Officer: Oh, so now we’re blaming the victim? Cool. And as indicated in your earlier testimony, that’d be the eggnog from a glass you just happened to shatter and then toss in the creek out back? And then you all just let your highly beloved yet clearly intoxicated grandma leave without any assistance, or maybe a ride?
Grandson: We begged her not to go!
Officer: Alright, so why did she go then?